Recently I performed a fantastic healing session on someone who ended up making a huge breakthrough in her life.
And it occurred to me that so many people out there have no idea how to help someone change their life.
In fact, people often do the very opposite of what’s ultimately going to be effective.
The reason is because it’s so much easier to do what’s not effective than it is to do what is actually going to work.
Just like with anything in life, it’s easy to do the easy thing. And it’s hard to do the effective thing.
But if you honestly want to help people…if you honestly want to make a difference in someone’s life…then you’re going to have to do the hard thing.
Changing someone’s life means you must be a leader. You must help them by showing them the way…and then actually lead them on the journey.
What ends up happening with most people, however, is they want to just tell the other person what to do and then sit on their butts, patting themselves on the back.
A real leader goes the distance for someone.
Real leaders don’t yell at the person. They don’t call them stupid. They don’t shame them. And they certainly don’t judge them.
A real leader will not lecture you about what you’re doing wrong.
A real leader will find out why you’re doing what you’re doing and then accept you for that. They will accept you for where you are and then help you to get where you want to go.
If you tell a real leader that you don’t want to make a change, then he or she will accept that that’s where you are.
A real leader does not judge where you are as good or bad. They simply acknowledge where you are without judging if that’s where you’re “supposed” to be.
In order to be a real leader, you must be patient. You must have compassion for those whom you’re trying to help. And you must understand that wherever they are in life is okay.
A real leader is intelligent in that they realize that if they had all of the cumulative experiences as the person they’re trying to help, then they also would believe the same things and be in the same exact position. Real leaders know this.
That’s why a real leader can change people’s lives…because they’re not so busy judging them that they can actually see what needs to be done, rather than what’s not being done.
A real leader does not know the word “should.” A real leader only sees “what is” and then moves forward based on that truth.
If you’re trying to grow a flower and it’s not growing fast enough, would a real leader waste even one second shaming the flower for growing too slow?
Would the leader stomp on the flower and try to “toughen it up?”
Would a real leader yell at the flower for not being the “right” color?
Would a real leader lecture the flower, telling it how it should grow?
Of course not.
A real leader would see that the flower is not growing as fast as it should. A real leader would accept this fact and judge it as neither good nor bad…but rather, simply what “is.”
And then the real leader would take initiative to help the flower grow in the way that the flower wants to grow. A real leader will add nutrients to the soil, water the flower, provide it more shade or more sunlight, etc.
In other words, a real leader believes in the flower’s potential and does whatever is in that leader’s power to help the flower realize that potential.
Real leaders will hold a positive and loving intention for those who seek their help.
And real leaders are never afraid to walk a difficult path to help someone change their life.
Finally, real leaders are experts at non-judgement. They accept people for who, and where, they are at any given point in time. And then they do what leaders do best: they lead.