Recently I purchased a cord of wood for our wood stove.
We had hired a new seller to deliver the wood, so we were a bit apprehensive.
I asked him on the phone to confirm that the wood he was selling was A) a full cord, and B) fully seasoned wood.
He confirmed both.
He said he would show up at noon. I called him at 1pm to make sure he could still make it out.
An hour later he showed up with a full cord of wood.
I happened to be on an important call that I had scheduled, so the window that I had allotted for stacking wood had come to pass and the chore was left solely to my partner to do.
It’s okay, she’s a tough chick.
As it turns out, the wood pieces steadily got heavier as she unloaded the wood from the truck…it was done in such a way that the change in weight was so gradual that it was almost imperceptible.
By the end of the truck load, we had stacked a great deal of heavy wood. As you might know, heavy wood is not fully seasoned…it’s still retaining water in the cells, meaning that it’s much more difficult to burn.
The rage I felt after realizing that half of the cord (namely the top half of our stack) was wet wood, drove me to want to call the guy and tell him how much it sucks trying to start a fire with wet wood.
As a child, family had modeled to me that when people screw you over, you have to get on their ass and even sometimes threaten them so that they don’t do that to you again. And this was my go-to strategy for many years of my life.
However, as I challenged myself to take a thorough look at the outcome of this strategy, I realized that it never actually solved the problem…that people who engaged in hostile, conflict-based behavior always seemed to perpetuate the problems. Moreover, they seemed to have even more problems as a result.
These realizations came to me after meeting my greatest spiritual teacher in my late teens and early 20s.
He told me that if you want problems to go away, you cannot attempt to attack them on a case-by-case basis. Instead, you must learn to heal them at their source.
And his strategy proved to be groundbreaking on many occasions.
One of the most obvious examples of this strategy in action was when I first started driving in California. For some reason, I found myself frequently getting upset at other drivers who would cut me off. It was actually pretty insane…seemed like every other day someone was cutting me off, riding my bumper, or suddenly braking in front of me.
At times, I became so mad that I wanted to smash my car into theirs. I wanted to roll down my window and honk and flip them off. I wanted to pull out in front of them and stop suddenly.
It became so intense that I finally had to take a step back and remember what my mentor had taught me…forgiveness.
So that’s when I took a deep breath and verbally forgave all of the drivers who had ever angered me. I recognized that no error had actually occurred. This led me to take a natural sigh of relief and then disregard all of the times I had thought I was wronged.
Immediately, the burden was lifted. And here I am, many years later, and I can honestly say that the number of times this has happened to me is probably 5% of what it used to be. And when it does happen, it’s so much easier now to simply just breathe and let it go.
I honestly believe that this is far more than just a reframing technique. Because not only do I not get nearly as upset as I used to, but I’ve genuinely noticed that it honestly doesn’t even happen close to as often…unless I’m just not noticing like I used to (which…what’s really the difference?).
The point I’m trying to make is that the universe will throw you some challenging situations for the sole purpose of helping you learn lessons, get through your limiting beliefs, and ascend to a whole new level of spiritual consciousness. All you have to do is learn to forgive and the problems fix themselves.
I have noticed the effects of this strategy in many different arenas of my life, including personal relationships and business. When I first started cold calling, I would get absolutely destroyed on the phone. In fact, one person told me directly that he would rather me be dead than calling him. That hurt.
I used to get so upset at people who hang up or say rude things. But immediately after I started applying the forgiveness lessons, these problems disappear. Now, when I cold call, it’s extremely rare that someone is rude to me and even people who are not interested still end up thanking me for the call anyway. It’s amazing.
Again, I’ve seen this play out so many times that I don’t even bother making excuses or trying to justify other reasons why my reality changed (i.e. maybe you became a better driver or maybe you practiced and sound better on the phone so people are no longer as rude).
You can make all of the rationalizations you want, but I still think you’re a fucking bitch unless you at least try it for yourself. Everyone wants to talk shit, few people are open minded enough to actually give it a shot.
Through much experimentation, over the years I have become convinced that a forgiving state of mind can literally change the fundamental quantum particles that comprise reality. Science is finding an increasing amount of evidence for this. Soon, people will no longer be able to deny the obvious effects that the mind has on reality.
This is why I do my best to maintain a forgiving state of mind…because I don’t want to keep re-living the same bullshit over and over again.
So, to the man who delivered me a cord of shitty fucking firewood, I forgive you. I forgive you because I recognize that perhaps no error occurred in the first place.
If I put myself in his shoes, maybe he thought that the wood was “seasoned enough.” Maybe he didn’t lie. Maybe he wasn’t being malicious. Maybe he grew up in a shitty family who never gave him the impression that he deserved nice things. To him, the wood was plenty seasoned because he was used to having shitty things growing up, such as slightly wet wood.
The wood burns…it’s just a pain in the ass to get it started. But when I consider this man’s life and why he thinks and behaves the way that he does, suddenly it’s hard to be mad at him anymore.
He’s just a guy who lived a fucked up, shitty, fucking shithole fuckface of a life. And now he’s doing his best to do right but he probably doesn’t even know the harm he’s doing…because his parents were shitty…and their parents were shitty before that.
And until we start educating people about their self worth, then we’re going to continue to have people who play this behavior out in society…
…or…maybe education has nothing to do with it. Maybe these things will work themselves out on their own if only we can all just learn to forgive.
Maybe reality doesn’t even exist the way that we think it does.
If we forgive, we can rearrange time and space.
Nothing else matters. You can’t kill them, they’ll just keep coming back. Instead, learn to forgive and they will vanish as if they had never existed at all.
But don’t just believe me. Try it for yourself.
I firmly believe that forgiveness is the only way to truly break the karmic cycle of bad experiences in your life…sign up to the site and grab your Ascension Cheat Sheet for more information.
I’ve just seen forgiveness work too many times for me to deny it.
And I have a long, long, long way to go.
And many things more to forgive.