Y’know…there’s a lot of advice out there for just about every situation a human being can find themselves in.
Whether you want peace, a better relationship, or to build wealth, someone – somewhere – has already done it. And they’d be more than happy to share their “wisdom” with you!
I want to be very clear with you that this is both a blessing and a curse.
On one hand, you should listen to the people who have what you want. But on the other hand, they do not share your unique life history and their approach might end up being completely different than yours.
This is precisely the trouble I continue to run into. I’m almost always better off trusting myself and making my own choices than I am doing what has “worked” for someone else.
If they have not lived your life, then how can they tell you how to change it? They only really know what has worked for them.
That’s why so many self-help programs fail to deliver on the promises they make. It’s simply impossible to walk another person’s path for them.
If you want to truly make changes in someone, then you must allow them to unlock the secrets for themselves. In the meantime, all you can do is love and be patient.
You can’t learn someone’s lessons for them. And no one can teach you the lessons that you need to know. It is only through your openness and willingness that you will be able to learn and grow.
We live in a diverse world. And ever since the dawn of time, everything in the universe has only been evolving to become more complex.
It absolutely boggles my mind how long people can do something, get the same results, and continue to do the same thing…over and over again, for years – decades even!
It’s unbelievable to me that people can go so long without questioning their approach.
Day in and day out, they strive and yet fail…only to rinse and repeat the process until they die.
They never stop to ask themselves if it’s working.
They never even consider taking a different approach.
The question that NOBODY seems to be asking themselves: “Is it working?”
They simply wake up 10, 20, or 40 years later and ask themselves: “What happened!?”
For example, there are literally millions of people who were told to train for the first 25% of their lives so they can work for the best 50% of their lives in order to relax for the worst 25% of their lives.
You would think that after a couple of generations of doing this that people would begin to question the approach. You would think that after a few soul-sucking employment situations that people would start to seek a better way…
…but the sad truth is that most of them do not. Most people will continue to be bound by their social programming for the entire duration of their lives. They will die without ever having lived their own lives.
“What happened to my dreams?”
“What happened to my relationship?”
“What happened to my life!?”
Boggles my mind man.
Anyway…if you’re reading this blog, then it’s because you are one of the few people who are aware of your life. You want happiness and you’re willing to do whatever it takes to change your reality and live the life that you want to live.
My advice to you is to stop taking others’ advice.
Educate yourself. Seek many perspectives. Understand the opinions and witness the beliefs of others.
But at the end of the day, make your own decision.
Don’t trust your life in the hands of another person or at the mercy of a religious text.
All that matters is your own life and how it fits into creation. That’s all you can control. And until you’ve mastered this, you have no business trying to change anyone else.
The best thing you can do for the world is be the best version of you. There are no secrets.
If you’re ever wondering what you should do, then just experiment. Do something, gauge the results, and recalculate your approach.
The key is being able to be honest with yourself. Even when it hurts.
Make the assumption that you can have the life you want and then just keep tinkering with the approach until you begin to see your desires materializing.
Sometimes the answer is right in front of you. Sometimes all you have to do is walk through the door that you were told not to open.
Other times you won’t have a clue. You’ll be feeling around in the dark for a door – any door…
Do something. Anything.
Sometimes in life you just have to decide.
Make a decision and go with it. Then measure your results.
If it was the wrong decision, no big deal. That’s to be expected.
Forgive yourself and move on. You made the best decision you could with the information and perspective you had at the time.
Along the way, your experiments will only allow you to better learn who you are. It is the experience (good or bad) itself that proves to be the teacher you depend on.
Sometimes experimentation is the only way to find out who you are and figure out what works for you. No amount of studying, listening, pondering, visualizing, analyzing, or deliberating will reveal the path to you.
Sometimes you just have to get out there and fail.
Like we all do.
Show me a day in which you did not fail, and I’ll show you a failure of a day.
You should always be failing. It’s what makes you a better person and gets you closer to your dreams.
The problem is that most people fail for other people instead of failing for themselves.
When you live for someone else, failure is extremely painful. But when you live for yourself, failure is but a signpost to steer you in a better direction.
Here’s your never-fail, two-step action plan for life:
- Define the response you want to get out of someone or out of life in general.
- Keep tinkering with your approach until you get your desired outcome.
Be a scientist. Observe. Ask questions. Continue the hunt.
Always continue the hunt. Don’t get sad when you don’t find what you’re looking for.. no one does at first.
It takes many many attempts before you figure it out. Just keep going and don’t give up.
Re-calibrate yourself to failure as a necessary means to a desired ends. Forgive yourself for mistakes made and welcome to the club.
Each failure gets you closer to success. Push yourself out of your comfort zone each and every day and eventually you will have that which you seek…
…as long as you live life on your own terms.
For now, all you gotta do is just be you.