The Simple Secret to Friends and Riches

The Ego is Not Your Amigo

We’re all diseased by this thing called the ego. It’s the worst part of all of us.

The ego is the damaged part of the “self”. It’s the part that gets defensive, projects, and wounds.

The ego is the voice of separation, not of cooperation. The more you fuel this voice, the more disconnected from the rest of humanity you become.

And when you become disconnected, you cut yourself off from humanity’s resources.

This would be okay except that you’re not a machine. You’re a biological being who constantly needs things to stay alive and comfortable. And you depend on other humans for these things.

Human Beings Are a Cooperative Species

On top of this, you’re a social being. You are hard-wired to depend on others not only for your survival, but also your happiness.

Your relationships are the gateway to your happiness. No money in the world can replace the connections you’ve made with others.

But the good news is you can become rich with money AND people by following just one simple piece of advice. Before I share, I’d like to preface by saying this is nothing new under the sun. Many people have also discovered this secret and reaped the full rewards from it.

The Simple Secret to Friends and Riches is to forget about yourself and instead focus on the other person.

Focus on the Other Person
For All-Around Best Results, Focus on the Other Person

In any interaction, if you focus on the other person more than you focus on yourself, you will almost always come away with a net positive from the interaction. Whether ‘net positive’ means landing a huge business deal or kindling the fires of love, the success of this strategy is independent of the specific nature of the interaction.

Ask yourself what the other person wants. Then help them achieve that.

All you have to do is listen to their words and it will be obvious to you what they want. And if it’s not obvious, then all it means is that they just want you to listen.

Every great relationship starts with a great social interaction. And every great social interaction starts with the ears, not the mouth.

Talking Should Be Reserved for Confirming The Message You Just Heard
Talking Should Be Reserved for Confirming The Message You Just Heard

This secret works in every social situation and in every cultural context. It forms the basis for all social skills as well as sales skills.

I didn’t start becoming successful until I learned what sales was really all about. I always thought it was using your expertise to convince someone to make a buying decision. But now I realize that it’s quite the opposite.

If you want to make a sale, stop trying to be an expert. Instead be a listener.

People will pay an expert, but they’ll hunt you down and force you to take their money if you can show you understand their problem/situation…even if you aren’t as skilled as the expert is.

A Helping Hand Wins the Allegiance of People
A Helping Hand Wins the Allegiance of People

It’s not easy to kick the bad habits of the ego. But if you can get out of your own monkey brain for even just 51% of the time, you’ll ascend to heights you’ve never imagined before.

The temptation to give advice is strong. Most of the time people don’t want your advice. They want to tell you their problem. And this is where the riches are.

The money is in the problem, not the solution.

If you focus on listening rather than telling for the next 100 social interactions, your entire life will be different. Could be worth a quest, don’t you think?


  1. Safeer Ali said:

    Hi D/C Russ. Good job. By the way may I know “D/C” stands for what? 🙂

    I have read your few of the posts and this one and I like the way you think.

    Best wishes for you.

    Kind Regards,
    Safeer Ali

    August 6, 2015
    • D/C Russ said:

      Thanks for the note and the nice words. I’ll keep thinking and blogging.

      D/C stands for Dustin Clay.



      August 6, 2015
  2. Hello D/C Russ.

    That part about listening instead of flapping your gums pointlessly has a lot of wisdom to it.

    Old school knowledge.

    August 27, 2015

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