As I get older, I realize more and more that I don’t really have any answers.
Paradoxically, I realize that the answers I seem to have are quite counter-intuitive to the answers of my past.
I know that I know a lot in a relativistic sense.
But in an absolute sense, I know nothing.
Knowledge, experience, perspective…these things have a funny way of shifting on you.
They’re true one day. False the next.
The things you believe now (hopefully) won’t be the things you believe in the future.
So what do I believe now?
I believe that your greatest dreams are in a rather surprising place.
I used to think they were where they “should be.”
Dreams are exciting right? They should be where excitement is.
Dreams are pleasurable right? They should be where pleasure is.
You love your dreams, right? Then they should be manifested from love.
Reality is in your mind, right? So then your dreams must be up there too!
Well, just try to think your way to your dreams then…let me know how that goes for you.
Want to lose weight? Imagine yourself as skinny.
Want to build muscle? Just flex in front of the mirror and squint your eyes really tight.
Want to make six or seven figures a year…picture a million dollars falling down on your head.
These assertions sound so immensely crazy to me now, that’s it’s hard to fathom that I ever believed them to be true.
But, sadly, I did. And perhaps even some readers of this article still believe them.
Some people reading these words think that pleasant things are found in pleasant places.
That’s what I used to think. I believed it so strongly…I quite literally knew it to be true as fact.
But looking back…I didn’t really have any of the things I wanted. I know now that my beliefs were not true.
So what is true? Who is to say that what I currently believe is true? I don’t know…
But I’m going to preach it anyway! Because I don’t know any better and all I do know is that it feels true for me now.
So where do I believe dreams are found?
Dreams are found in nightmares.
Hear me out…I know it sounds paradoxical.
But think of it this way: have you ever heard the phrase “no pain, no gain”?
Anything that is worth doing is hard. You can’t imagine your weight loss goals and have them come to fruition.
You can’t fantasize about riches and expect to be rich.
These things will keep you fat, broke, and unhappy.
In this world, pleasure leads to pain.
It is pain that leads to pleasure.
Hard work, discipline, sobriety, focus…these things might not seem fun on the surface, but they are the only things that will bring you pleasure.
Junk food, sex additions, drugs, alcohol, television, video games…these things sound fun on the surface, but they will lead you down a path that goes straight into a world of pain.
Your dreams are found in struggle.
Your dreams are found in tragedy.
Your dreams are found in sacrifice.
Your dreams are found in pain.
Your dreams are found in difficult circumstances.
Your dreams are found in animosity.
Your dreams are found in unfairness.
Your dreams are found in misfortune.
…I could go on and on.
But I’ve found that the “loving” universe seems to have a much broader definition of love.
Tough love, I guess.
Anything that’s easy will fuck you over.
Anything that’s hard is direct invitation to your dreams.
Most people don’t see it like that, though…so they never actually achieve their dreams.
They keep pretending that life is all about being comfortable.
But your dreams are found in discomfort.
And you’d find them there if you’d stop blaming the circumstances.
You’d find them there if you’d stop blaming the people.
You’d find them there if you stop blaming anyone or anything else…
If you stop blaming, you will have no other choice but to seek answers from the situation.
And you’ll find that the answers lead you to your dreams.
Your dreams are found in the strangest places.
Pain, misfortune, and disappointment are now my greatest teachers.
I recommend to you, comrade, that you reverse everything you’ve been taught and just go with what works…even if it sucks sometimes.
Nothing is against you…not even misfortune.
Stop blaming people for who they are or what they’ve done to you.
It’s just keeping you stuck. And, honestly, it makes you look like a whiny little bitch.
The next time life throws some bullshit at you, eat it alive. Accept it and look for the answers.
Make the assumption that whatever unfavorable event happens to you is there specifically and solely to lead you to your dreams.
…or, just stay comfortable and continue to blame everything else instead.
Who knows? Maybe I’m wrong. Ask me again in 5-10 years.