When to Separate from Your Partner

Whatever are you so attached to, comrade, that you’re not willing to exchange it for something better?

This one sentence, if pondered, can lead to some deep realizations…some truly saddening.

Because when we think of giving things up, we tend to think of the things that are compromising the desires of our egos, not our souls.

A more emotionally intelligent and spiritually advanced consideration is centered around what’s holding the soul back from what it truly wants.

For example, one may consider leaving their partner because of repeated conflict in the relationship. The ego says, “I don’t like this…it’s their fault…I have to end this.”

The ego is rife with projections, constantly concerning itself with the material world.

But the material world is only a projection of your inner world. “Reality” is but a persistent illusion…a mirror that reflects yourself back to you. Einstein knew this, Socrates knew this, Jesus knew this, the Buddha knew this.

Therefore, a more spiritually intelligent consideration would be to ask the deeper question: “What is holding me back from the true love and passion that I want?”

It’s not your partner — it’s you. And from your partner’s perspective, it’s not you…it’s them.


When two or more people are trying to function as a single unit, each member must have the courage to introspect and be openly vulnerable about their shortcomings.

True relationship success always hinges on the commitment of each member to explore personal growth through an investigation of what their soul really wants…and what’s standing in the way of that.

It’s almost always the ego…the self…that sabotages a relationship.

If someone or something is holding your soul back, then it’s time to let go. But if you feel that it’s possible to gain what your soul truly wants within the context of the current circumstances, then it’s probably your own ego that’s standing in your soul’s way.

The ego wants to be right.

The soul wants to be happy.

The ego wants to be comfortable.

The soul wants to be fulfilled.

“If lovin’ you is wrong, I don’t wanna be right. If being right means being without you, I’d rather live a wrong doing life.”

-Luther Ingram

If something or someone appears to be compromising your ability to be right or comfortable, then it’s holding your ego back from what it wants.

The ability to identify this is a mark of a thoughtful individual.

The determination to attain what your soul truly wants, is the mark of a gifted individual.

It will be uncomfortable. But you’ll be fulfilled.

You’ll be wrong. But you’ll be happy.

The beauty in this paradigm is that all people want the same things on a fundamental level.

Everyone wants to love and be loved.

But we humans have piles and piles of convictions and false perceptions that we’ve built over the years that hold us back from loving and being loved.

We’ve built these massive piles over the course of our entire lives. They’re literally all we know. And letting these convictions go can be quite uncomfortable, even painful. After all, they’re ours. We’ve built them. And we cherish the things we’ve made.

Cherish Shit

I remember how hard it was to admit what it was that I really wanted.

I remember being held completely captive by my own convictions.

I remember having to choke out the words.

It was hard. It was uncomfortable.

But my soul couldn’t stay silent anymore.

What I really wanted was deep love, connection, passion, and compassion.

These diamonds were available, but I had to be willing to relinquish my pile of shit first.

It’s an ongoing battle…for all of us.

I like to think there’s an end…

…that it’s possible to completely reverse all of the bad programming that separates us from what we want…

…to restore oneself to factory specs…

…to be the freely loving, innocent children we once were.

No one is born with hatred.

No one is born unable to love.

We did this to ourselves. Individually and collectively.

But you can change it.

You can learn how to love deeper. You can learn how to accept love more fully.

Just lay aside the stones that burden you.

Find the stones to find your stones and leave them behind.

Today is the first day. Tomorrow is the second.

If we can lighten the load just a little bit each day, soon we’ll be free and flying high.

And these are the words from the wise.

D/C Russ


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